When is it okay to download a song illegally?
People say that downloading illegally isn't the same as stealing. And sometimes, that's true. You're not taking a thing like a car or a baby from somebody. You're just making more copies of the same thing. That's not stealing, it's... well it's a bit like counterfeiting, but I'll let that slide because you aren't going to weaken the currency markets by downloading Ke$ha.
But here's the catch: if you're going to download a song and not pay for it, you have to offset the karma balance somehow. Maybe send a check for $0.11 to the artist, because honestly that's about all the record company would give them. Or you could go to their show and buy merch from them. That's a much better way of showing your support.
Here are my personal rules for downloading without paying.
1. Are the majority of the members of the band dead?
If they're dead, go for it. My money won't help you any if you're dead. And I don't care about your children. If they want money they can create their own damn music.
2. If not dead, is the band obscure and defunct?
This is a kind of refined version of question one. If the band existed a while back, never really took off, and legitimate copies of their work are hard to come by, then I see procuring online copies as a way of spreading the word.
In the vast sea of information that is the internet, it's easy to stumble across hundreds of thousands of bands that never gained popularity. For some, the fact that they never did gain that popularity was what prevented them from going further. And among some of those millions of songs, a few are going to be gems.
Discovery leads to exposure, exposure leads to buzz, buzz leads to people with clout spreading the word even further, and suddenly a band gets their fair due, something they would not have gotten had it not been for file-sharing.
On the internet, you can overcome the fact that your band never played in big or important venues. You can overcome the fact that your music was too far ahead of its time. You can get a fair shake and a second chance. Or third. Or whatever large number it takes until that niche finds you.
Sunday, January 15, 2012
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Stop complaining about pop music already
A while back on Buzzfeed there was a list of 12 incredibly depressing facts about pop music and how all these truly great bands are overshadowed by inferior ones.
Well, what else do you expect? The "pop" in pop music is short for popular. So yes, I think it's reasonable to assume that music created and marketed to appeal to broader audiences will tend to sell quite well, as opposed to works that may be "great" but which will be more divisive. This is why pizza and hamburgers are more popular than other "better" dishes: mass-market appeal. How many people do you know who will say that they absolutely hate pizza and won't eat it no matter how hungry they get? How many people say that about crab? (I do)
But I want to break apart #8 on this list, the only comparison between two major pop artists. Katy Perry has as many #1 singles off of Teenage Dream as Michael Jackson has off a single album. Come on?! The King of Pop upstaged by Katy Perry? Is that even possible??
Just a minute there because I have a bubble to burst. The big disappointment is that Thriller is not the album we're talking about here. Only two songs off Thriller reached #1 and neither of them were "Thriller". Things are about to get Bad.
For reference, here are the 5 singles off Bad that reached #1:
"Bad" (well, kind of obvious there)
"I Just Can't Stop Loving You"
"The Way You Make Me Feel"
"Man in the Mirror"
"Dirty Diana"
Now, how many of those songs can you actually remember? How many would you call great or even good? How many of them are just 80s pop songs that get stuck in your head and you want nothing more than to get them out, with a drill if possible? "Smooth Criminal" is probably the song that gets the most airplay off that album and it never reached #1.
For comparison, here's the songs off Teenage Dream that charted at #1
"Teenage Dream"
"Firework"
"California Girls" (which I refuse to spell with 'gurls' (sic) Only Prince gets a pass on improper spelling because he's Prince and if he wants to spell you as U I'm going to let him. Noblesse oblige and all that)
"Last Friday Night"
"E.T."
Now, I'll admit I hate "California Girls" with a fiery passion, and "E.T" does nothing for me, but the rest of the #1 singles... well they're not bad. Works of genius they're not, but at least 'Last Friday Night" has the self-awareness to include a gratuitous sax solo. Compare that with so many 80s soundtracks where the sax was sincerely thought to be an improvement. These are songs that are at least enjoyable and not likely to make me want to punch small children in malls when I hear them.
Mano-a-mano the two albums aren't so dissimilar. Only a few songs off Bad had any real staying power, and in all likelihood only two or three off Teenage Dream will be heard on the radio in 25 years time. Which for a pop album is damn good. Let's not forget that pop music is inherently about The Now and over time songs that capture what it means to remember a time period are the ones that stay around.
I will admit to one major distinction between the two performers: Michael Jackson had the good taste to write most of his own material on Bad, while the 5 singles off Teenage Dream all bear the mark of Dr. Luke, pop songwriter extraordinaire. Which is to say that any of those could have been handed off to any number of pop songsmiths, with very similar results. But it's not as though pop music fans care about things like artistic integrity and a singular unified vision behind an album. Come on, it's not like it's rock and roll or anything.
Well, what else do you expect? The "pop" in pop music is short for popular. So yes, I think it's reasonable to assume that music created and marketed to appeal to broader audiences will tend to sell quite well, as opposed to works that may be "great" but which will be more divisive. This is why pizza and hamburgers are more popular than other "better" dishes: mass-market appeal. How many people do you know who will say that they absolutely hate pizza and won't eat it no matter how hungry they get? How many people say that about crab? (I do)
But I want to break apart #8 on this list, the only comparison between two major pop artists. Katy Perry has as many #1 singles off of Teenage Dream as Michael Jackson has off a single album. Come on?! The King of Pop upstaged by Katy Perry? Is that even possible??
Just a minute there because I have a bubble to burst. The big disappointment is that Thriller is not the album we're talking about here. Only two songs off Thriller reached #1 and neither of them were "Thriller". Things are about to get Bad.
For reference, here are the 5 singles off Bad that reached #1:
"Bad" (well, kind of obvious there)
"I Just Can't Stop Loving You"
"The Way You Make Me Feel"
"Man in the Mirror"
"Dirty Diana"
Now, how many of those songs can you actually remember? How many would you call great or even good? How many of them are just 80s pop songs that get stuck in your head and you want nothing more than to get them out, with a drill if possible? "Smooth Criminal" is probably the song that gets the most airplay off that album and it never reached #1.
For comparison, here's the songs off Teenage Dream that charted at #1
"Teenage Dream"
"Firework"
"California Girls" (which I refuse to spell with 'gurls' (sic) Only Prince gets a pass on improper spelling because he's Prince and if he wants to spell you as U I'm going to let him. Noblesse oblige and all that)
"Last Friday Night"
"E.T."
Now, I'll admit I hate "California Girls" with a fiery passion, and "E.T" does nothing for me, but the rest of the #1 singles... well they're not bad. Works of genius they're not, but at least 'Last Friday Night" has the self-awareness to include a gratuitous sax solo. Compare that with so many 80s soundtracks where the sax was sincerely thought to be an improvement. These are songs that are at least enjoyable and not likely to make me want to punch small children in malls when I hear them.
Mano-a-mano the two albums aren't so dissimilar. Only a few songs off Bad had any real staying power, and in all likelihood only two or three off Teenage Dream will be heard on the radio in 25 years time. Which for a pop album is damn good. Let's not forget that pop music is inherently about The Now and over time songs that capture what it means to remember a time period are the ones that stay around.
I will admit to one major distinction between the two performers: Michael Jackson had the good taste to write most of his own material on Bad, while the 5 singles off Teenage Dream all bear the mark of Dr. Luke, pop songwriter extraordinaire. Which is to say that any of those could have been handed off to any number of pop songsmiths, with very similar results. But it's not as though pop music fans care about things like artistic integrity and a singular unified vision behind an album. Come on, it's not like it's rock and roll or anything.
Saturday, January 7, 2012
And now, the news
Two stories in the news roundup today.
In the first, a high school yearbook in Colorado has banned a senior portrait they've called too racy. The student's name is -- and I am not making this up -- Sydney Spies, which already sounds like a porn star's moniker. Talk about fulfilling your destiny.
The other story comes from Montana where four days after an avalanche that killed its owner, a corgi named Ole was found alive. I mean, the good news is that the Corgi is fine, the more amazing news is that it survived at all, given that this is what happens when you combine a corgi and deep snow.
In the first, a high school yearbook in Colorado has banned a senior portrait they've called too racy. The student's name is -- and I am not making this up -- Sydney Spies, which already sounds like a porn star's moniker. Talk about fulfilling your destiny.
The other story comes from Montana where four days after an avalanche that killed its owner, a corgi named Ole was found alive. I mean, the good news is that the Corgi is fine, the more amazing news is that it survived at all, given that this is what happens when you combine a corgi and deep snow.
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Are Bollywood movies all that weird?
As part of my 25 before 25 list of things I want to accomplish before my quarter-century, I put down that I wanted to watch a movie out of India called 3 idiots. And so I did. And I will try and correct one stereotype that Bollywood movies are weird because of the sudden breaks into song and dance numbers.
It makes about as much sense as that scene in Scarface with the montage set to "push it to the limit." It's a song that expresses the mood of what's going on. And in a way it makes even MORE sense than the Scarface scene because Paul Engemann, the singer of that 80s-licious song, wasn't even a character in that movie. And if you can accept a total stranger singing in a way that sets the mood, you really should be able to accept any song and dance number in a bollywood movie.
It makes about as much sense as that scene in Scarface with the montage set to "push it to the limit." It's a song that expresses the mood of what's going on. And in a way it makes even MORE sense than the Scarface scene because Paul Engemann, the singer of that 80s-licious song, wasn't even a character in that movie. And if you can accept a total stranger singing in a way that sets the mood, you really should be able to accept any song and dance number in a bollywood movie.
Monday, January 2, 2012
So what exactly is in cheap pizzas?
Because most of my income is sporadic at best, I eat a lot of cheap pizzas. My most recent acquisition is a brand called Roma. Two dollars per pizza, which is not bad at all. The only upsetting part is that one of their selling points is that Roma pizzas are "made with real cheese!"
Which raises a question: who are they competing against, what brand of pizza is out there that can't meet the real cheese from an actual cow threshold?
Which raises another question: where can I buy THAT brand of pizza because not gonna lie two bucks is kind of expensive.
Which raises a question: who are they competing against, what brand of pizza is out there that can't meet the real cheese from an actual cow threshold?
Which raises another question: where can I buy THAT brand of pizza because not gonna lie two bucks is kind of expensive.
Sunday, January 1, 2012
The Worst things of 2011 (personal edition)
Well, 2011 happened. A whole year of things. But what were the worst things to happen in 2011? What were the bad things? What other synonyms for 'bad' will optimize my SEO for this puppy? Let's take a look at my opinion of the worst events or things of 2011.
10. Corgis
It's not that they've done anything wrong, it's just that the internet has made them cool. And now I want one. But I'd be a terrible dog owner, heck I can barely keep my plants alive. I also have no friends who live closeby who have corgis. Which makes them terrible friends, honestly.
9. 1% milk
Seriously, milk. Start paying your fair share of taxes and stop influencing government so much. I won't tolerate it anymore.
8. Teenagers
I'm at the age where the "half your age plus seven" rule for determining the youngest age for dating acceptability only reaches adults. However, any lingering desire to go below that guideline has been stomped into a pulp by reading the twitterfeeds of teenagers. I'll summarize my findings thusly: my god, they're dumb.
You've tweeted over 100,000 times, and none of them have had any real substance. The government is keeping a log of every tweet, to be saved for future researchers. So if you're under 18 and are a prolific tweeter, I figure you owe the government at least $1 per 1,000 tweets. Double if you identify yourself as a belieber
7. Planet Earth
I want to save you, Earth. I really do. But you keep trying to kill us all. Floods, earthquakes and whatever a typhoon is, you've thrown it all at us this year. Well, this year if you try any of that crap I'm going to start littering again. You've been warned earth.
6. Rick Santorum
How has Rick Santorum done in the GOP debates? While his policies on social issues especially those of marriage equality make him a dick, in the debates he comes across in exactly the same way that Charlie Brown does. He's a scrappy underdog minus scrappy plus whining.
5. Mono(?)
Earlier this year I was sick with... something. Pain in my throat became a uvula the size of a grape. It's one of those things that if I were a doctor and it weren't happening to me, I'd think it was fascinating. But I'm not House, M.D. and I hate it when my uvula gets caught on my tonsils, so to the health center I went. Their tests showed it was mono, so I got a little card of pills and vicodin for the pain. The good news is whatever it was it healed up really quick. The better news is OHMYGOD vicodin is a divine gift. But mono isn't one of those things you get better from after like 2 days. So... what did I have? I'm ending the year as a medical mystery.
4. Dryers in name only
When I have a job I do what I'm told, when I'm told to do it for the most part. I may not be perfect, but I try to have the final project be a really close match to the job description. When I'm a librarian, I move books around and say Shhh at people. When I'm a production assistant, I assist the production of small films. When I'm in public relations, I'm considering how that really sounds like a euphemism for exhibitionism.
And you know why there isn't an appliance called a damp-maker? Because nobody wants their clothes to end up that way after an hour of spinning. I expect warm and toasty and static-clingy because I wash wool things and don't want to invest in those dryer sheets.
3. Unpaid internships
For those of you not in the know, an unpaid internship is where you work and they don't pay you. Didn't we fight a war about this?
2. Bad kissers
If you're not a good kisser, it's okay. You can be taught how to kiss. But there's a particular class of bad kisser that is almost terrifying. It's like that scene in Alien that I haven't actually seen. She came at me with the fury of gale force winds, and yes there was an unwelcome injection of multiple inches of tongue. The worst part was that she was dead-set on the idea that this was how one was supposed to kiss, and I could tell that any attempts on my part to try and rectify the horrifying oral attack would prove fruitless.
Still don't know why I hooked up with her a second time.
1. My oven woes.
The gist:
- The people who own my apartment building did not do a great job of maintaining the oven, and when I moved in I discovered this.
- When I used the oven, it would set off the fire alarm
- The gas company said that it was a fire hazard to have the oven in this condition
- I can't fix the oven myself without disassembling the broiler, and that sounds kind of dangerous
- Despite the fact that I kind of have had a fire hazard in my apartment for over six months, the landlord and the property management company haven't done anything to fix it.
So congratulations Touchstone Properties, LLC! You win the title of worst thing of 2011 ever as far as I'm concerned. Last year's winner Ke$ha was not available to comment on her loss of the title to my oven situation, but I'm sure it's for the best.
10. Corgis
It's not that they've done anything wrong, it's just that the internet has made them cool. And now I want one. But I'd be a terrible dog owner, heck I can barely keep my plants alive. I also have no friends who live closeby who have corgis. Which makes them terrible friends, honestly.
9. 1% milk
Seriously, milk. Start paying your fair share of taxes and stop influencing government so much. I won't tolerate it anymore.
8. Teenagers
I'm at the age where the "half your age plus seven" rule for determining the youngest age for dating acceptability only reaches adults. However, any lingering desire to go below that guideline has been stomped into a pulp by reading the twitterfeeds of teenagers. I'll summarize my findings thusly: my god, they're dumb.
You've tweeted over 100,000 times, and none of them have had any real substance. The government is keeping a log of every tweet, to be saved for future researchers. So if you're under 18 and are a prolific tweeter, I figure you owe the government at least $1 per 1,000 tweets. Double if you identify yourself as a belieber
7. Planet Earth
I want to save you, Earth. I really do. But you keep trying to kill us all. Floods, earthquakes and whatever a typhoon is, you've thrown it all at us this year. Well, this year if you try any of that crap I'm going to start littering again. You've been warned earth.
6. Rick Santorum
How has Rick Santorum done in the GOP debates? While his policies on social issues especially those of marriage equality make him a dick, in the debates he comes across in exactly the same way that Charlie Brown does. He's a scrappy underdog minus scrappy plus whining.
5. Mono(?)
Earlier this year I was sick with... something. Pain in my throat became a uvula the size of a grape. It's one of those things that if I were a doctor and it weren't happening to me, I'd think it was fascinating. But I'm not House, M.D. and I hate it when my uvula gets caught on my tonsils, so to the health center I went. Their tests showed it was mono, so I got a little card of pills and vicodin for the pain. The good news is whatever it was it healed up really quick. The better news is OHMYGOD vicodin is a divine gift. But mono isn't one of those things you get better from after like 2 days. So... what did I have? I'm ending the year as a medical mystery.
4. Dryers in name only
When I have a job I do what I'm told, when I'm told to do it for the most part. I may not be perfect, but I try to have the final project be a really close match to the job description. When I'm a librarian, I move books around and say Shhh at people. When I'm a production assistant, I assist the production of small films. When I'm in public relations, I'm considering how that really sounds like a euphemism for exhibitionism.
And you know why there isn't an appliance called a damp-maker? Because nobody wants their clothes to end up that way after an hour of spinning. I expect warm and toasty and static-clingy because I wash wool things and don't want to invest in those dryer sheets.
3. Unpaid internships
For those of you not in the know, an unpaid internship is where you work and they don't pay you. Didn't we fight a war about this?
2. Bad kissers
If you're not a good kisser, it's okay. You can be taught how to kiss. But there's a particular class of bad kisser that is almost terrifying. It's like that scene in Alien that I haven't actually seen. She came at me with the fury of gale force winds, and yes there was an unwelcome injection of multiple inches of tongue. The worst part was that she was dead-set on the idea that this was how one was supposed to kiss, and I could tell that any attempts on my part to try and rectify the horrifying oral attack would prove fruitless.
Still don't know why I hooked up with her a second time.
1. My oven woes.
The gist:
- The people who own my apartment building did not do a great job of maintaining the oven, and when I moved in I discovered this.
- When I used the oven, it would set off the fire alarm
- The gas company said that it was a fire hazard to have the oven in this condition
- I can't fix the oven myself without disassembling the broiler, and that sounds kind of dangerous
- Despite the fact that I kind of have had a fire hazard in my apartment for over six months, the landlord and the property management company haven't done anything to fix it.
So congratulations Touchstone Properties, LLC! You win the title of worst thing of 2011 ever as far as I'm concerned. Last year's winner Ke$ha was not available to comment on her loss of the title to my oven situation, but I'm sure it's for the best.
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