You sometimes hear about people saying that G-d is speaking to them. This is something I'd like, but I don't think it's going to happen because some of my biggest dilemmas are over the least-important things.
And lo, a voice rang out from the Heavens, and it said 'Get the Butterfinger'
I feel like that would be a waste of my one lifetime divine message.
"What was your message?"
"Propose to her. You?"
"Get a butterfinger"
"I don't remember that ever being part of the Bible"
"I know! It wasn't even that good of a butterfinger"
The moral of this story is that G-d probably doesn't have very good taste in candy.
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