Pseudonyms, Colbert and Google's death of the self

I blog as Nick Klaus. I do stand-up as Nick Klaus. I write things and sometimes even introduce myself to people as Nick Klaus.

But I can't use Google Plus as Nick Klaus. That is not allowed. For that, I must use my real name. And that is something which causes me great annoyance.

But let's get to the heart of the matter: why do I use a fake name from time to time? Sometimes it's convenience. My real last name is 12 letters long and is mostly unpronounceable to the uninitiated. If someone has to enter my name into their phone, I'll sometimes toss out Klaus as the last name to save them the trouble. Nick Klaus is a sort of shorthand in that way.

I also use Nick Klaus as a pseudonym because I want there to be a degree of separation from me as a person and me as a public figure. Granted, "public figure" is reeeeeally pushing it at this point but I don't want to have to reverse-engineer it later in life. If I start performing under this pseudonym now, should I ever become famous I'll always have this "real" identity that I can retreat to.

Think of it as Stephen Colbert. On The Colbert Report, he performs a character who satirically pushes a Republican agenda. He says things he doesn't truly mean. But Stephen Colbert is also his real name. The persona is so entrenched that he doesn't want his own children to watch the show because he doesn't want them to be confused about what it is he truly believes.

The idea is this: we all can be different things to different people. Nick Klaus on stage is separate from Nick (real last name) off-stage. There's a lot of overlap, but Nick Klaus is more outgoing and more of a hapless fool than I am in real life. Real me does things that are Nick Klaus-ish from time to time but Nick Klaus stage persona is always in that role. It's not a lie, it's not the Truth, but it's true enough.

Nick Klaus is a pseudonym that means something. It stands for an idea, and a person who in essence exists. But he doesn't exist to Google. And that is what will be Google+'s downfall. What google is saying is that you should only use G+ if you're comfortable with having only 1 identity, an identity which you share varying degrees of. But that's the Stephen Colbert problem. More people see public Colbert than private Colbert. They share a name, but are at odds with each other.

Comic Nick Klaus will tweet/say things that professional with a job Nick (real last name) probably shouldn't, and holds opinions that Interior design-y Nick Klaus thinks should be kept private. Separate blogs, separate fora, separate selves.

Only Nick (real last name) can use G+. And that will be its Achilles heel. I'm one of those people who can keep aspects of my life very separate from other facets. The internet should let me do that too. After all, on the internet nobody knows you're a dog.