I need to stop pretending that I know things

I learned three things while at the racetrack yesterday.
1) when a friend offers you a water bottle, do not automatically assume it contains water. Further, do not take a rather large gulp until you have ascertained whether the contents of the bottle are alcoholic. Failure to do so will result in shame.
2) It's sad when an animal with a brain the size of an apple can manage to outsmart just about everybody. For reference, that's an internal monologue no more complex than "I like sugar" or "Running time! My favorite!"
3) I somehow managed to lose money on almost everything. Even the concession stand.
"I'd like a hot dog"
"Pick a number 1 to 10"
"four"
"Nope. Try again?"
"What kind of odds are you giving on the chicken nuggets?"