I cannot be a foodie

I got into a bit of a disagreement with a TV chef on twitter. It was about pie, so at least it was about something important. I have pretty strong opinions on pie, and I don't think they're too extreme or radical that they deserve to be mocked.

Here's the gist of the disagreement. During this cook's show on apple pie he proposes a number of changes that I think betray the innate pie-ness of apple pie. The first alteration is to use a mix of 4 apples. I'm actually okay with this one but only because there are some pretty bad apples out there. I can't stand the really mushy red apples, and they kind of disintegrate when you make pie from them. A mix of apples works.

The next modification is to add something called applejack. It's an apple flavored brandy thing. I was hesitant, but when the tv chef pointed out that civil war era pies had this, I could see where he was coming from. Not something I'd automatically assume went into apple pie, but there's precedent for including it.

The modification that made me more than a little upset is something called Grains of Paradise. It's a Moroccan spice that has eight different kinds of flavor depth and all that jazz. It's also something you have to buy either online or in specialty stores. I don't want to have to wait 5 to 7 business days just so I can make pie. This isn't one of those ingredients that was traditionally in apple pie. It's just gratuitous. It's like truffle oil or duck fat; it's an ingredient added mostly to make food expensive.

I just want to eat a pie that's pretty darn good. That's all. I don't want to feel like I'm a food noob because my spinach isn't locally-sourced, because I can't pronounce açai, or because I don't own a Dutch oven. If it matters to you that much to have all of these things, go for it. Let me have recipes that make food good without adding pretentiousness to it.

Am I the only one who feels this way?