San Francisco's ban on circumcision, or: trying to make intelligent dick jokes.

The city of San Francisco has a ballot initiative to ban circumcision. The Jewish community's response has been a resounding "MOHEL NO!" This is a very sensitive subject. Some people are really touchy about it and obviously, we should handle it with care. When you get down to it though, I think the debate has come to a head too soon. I'm going to do all I can to make sure the discussion won't get too messy.

I've got a pretty firm grasp on the issue, so I'll get right to the good stuff. The thrust of the argument by the people in favor of the ban is that circumcision is denying your child future pleasure. I think that line of reasoning is a little hard to swallow. You're already allowed to raise your kid to feel guilty about sex. A lot of the country thinks this is a virtuous thing to do.

I know my position and I won't take it sitting down. This is just government reaching around into other people's business. The members involved are trying to make it a government issue, and in recent weeks we've seen just how good people in the government are at handling their own penises. It's not enough to make me trust them with other people's.

You're not allowed to be an abusive parent, but you are allowed to be a bad one. And in terms of things that will rob your child of a satisfying life, circumcision hangs pretty low.