The US Department of Peace? Really?

I spent the weekend at the California Democrats convention. One of the highlights was seeing a group lobbying for a "US Department of Peace"

I'm not sure what this entails. At least with all the other major departments, you know what they do. The Department of Defense is in charge of defending the country. The Department of Agriculture is in charge of all of the plants. The Department of the Interior is in charge of decorations for all the white house parties. And so on...

But what exactly is the department of peace supposed to do? Peace really just means that nobody's punching anybody. It's about NOT doing things more than it is about doing things. The US Department of Blowing Things Up becomes the Department of Peace when they decide nothing's going to be blown up anytime soon.

This is why I'm introducing Nick Klaus Bill #1: Formation of the Departments of Barbecue, Funk and Naps. All of these are essential to our nations happiness. Think how much pulled pork, blankets and Bootsy Collins LPs you could buy with 500 million dollars. Money well spent, I'd say. Or what about mandating half hour nap breaks after lunch when it gets hot out and you're going to be falling asleep anyways?

This is an idea whose time has come.